Dear intoxicated girls riding LTC,
I understand that you are “SOOO FUUKNN DRUNK!” but can you please keep your shitty music to the minimum? It’s bad enough I have to hear about how you forgot to buy Tostito’s when you went to went to Loblos the other day, in the highest possible voice you can speak in. All of the passengers on this bus are trying to hold on to our sanity so we ask that you do your part in making that possible.
Today after work I went to the bus stop to wait for the 13 Wellington and I was early so I took out my laptop. I was watching Glee when this lady came into the bus stop and asked me what I was watching. I told her I was watching Glee and she joined me. After about 10 minutes the bus came and we both boarded. The whole bus was packed so we had to stand and I decided to create casual conversation with her. I pointed out the unusual amount of kids on the bus and she told me she was going to be one of those parents that have kids late. (This is after I found out that she was 27). She then said, “Yeah I want to wait as long as possible to have kids…I like my vagina the way it is.” And I was like :l . I started laughing a bit and then she was like “I hear it really messes everything up down there. (this included hand actions) I like my kitty just how it is…that’s what I call it….my kitty.” I was DYING at this point. This woman continued to talk about deeply personal things to me as I laughed. I wasn’t sure if it was rude to laugh but she caught me off guard so she couldn’t have expected any other reaction. Finally we came to her stop and said goodbye and left the bus laughing with an elderly man she had called a sly fox after he pulled the cord before her. Sitting on the bus I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
I got off the 13 on Richmond to wait for the 21 Huron Heights. While I was sitting on the bench I heard someone doing that douchey ‘hey there’ whistle. I assumed it was someone gawking at the two girls standing next to me however as I looked up a guy walked by and said “Hey how you doin’?” And me, having been programmed by every job I’ve ever had to create generic responses said, “Good how are you?” He kept on walking and the girls and I began to laugh.
About 5minutes before my bus came a guy no older than me approached me and asked for bus fair. Being in the great mood that I was, gave him the change and he said he hadn’t eaten in a while and had been kicked out of his house. I didn’t know if any of this was true but I decided to trust him so I gave him my left over Linguine Chicken Amatriciana from ESM’s. I got on my last bus heading home with a smile on my face and the incredible natural high that graces oneself when the cookie cutter format of your day is broken.
This little boy could not have been older than 5. Am I a terrible person for almost bursting out in laughter?